1
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Subtitles - Ripped (and Hacked)
by RavyDavy - Part of the [RL] Crew

2
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( Eerie music)

3
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(Whispered chanting)

4
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(Music intensifies)

5
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Three 99s, please.

6
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I'm staring. I'm staring at women.

7
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It's the heat, all the dresses.
It's driving me nuts.

8
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It's very hot. Too hot.
What's the temperature?

9
00:01:42,040 --> 00:01:44,315
No, I'm not 12.

10
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- No, go away!
- Only trying to be nice.

11
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Sorry, I'm tired.
I haven't slept in a week.

12
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My flat is suffocating.

13
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- What's the temperature?
- Stop asking that, will you?

14
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- Mustn't stare.
- You don't stare at me.

15
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You're my oldest friend.

16
00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:12,038
Anyway, you look like
you just fell out of a tree.

17
00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:14,076
Go home and get some rest.

18
00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:18,073
I can't sleep there.
It's like the walls are closing in on me.

19
00:02:18,160 --> 00:02:19,639
Look at her.

20
00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:23,395
I bet she washes her hair
in streams and milks things.

21
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She's not even sweating.
Has she not glands?

22
00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:30,670
Jesus, it's 81 degrees. 81!

23
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- Don't block the frock.
- But it might get to 88.

24
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- And it can't. It can't!
- Shut up and have a cold bath.

25
00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:43,829
I should get a girlfriend before
I turn into one of those freaks

26
00:02:43,920 --> 00:02:47,435
- who just gawp at women.
- Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna lie down.

27
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Excuse me. Have you...?

28
00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:55,034
- Oh.
- One for you too.

29
00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:57,759
- You know what we want?
- We like different stuff.

30
00:02:57,840 --> 00:03:02,391
You're going on holiday,
you want trash but different trash -

31
00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:05,438
you women want social themes,
believable characters.

32
00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:08,273
You want plots, suspense.
This'll do you both.

33
00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:11,830
This temp's 29, she can't get
a boyfriend. Oh, my God.

34
00:03:11,920 --> 00:03:14,354
- Sounds great.
- No way.

35
00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:17,318
And she's got 12 hours
to stop a nuclear war.

36
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- All right.
- One each, then.

37
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(Snoring)

38
00:03:27,920 --> 00:03:29,876
(Snoring continues)

39
00:03:37,080 --> 00:03:39,992
Get out. Women think
you're my girlfriend. Go.

40
00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:43,390
Just for a few hours.
In my place I lie there writhing

41
00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:45,436
and sticky and glistening...

42
00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:55,471
and summery friends
who know how to be outside.

43
00:03:55,560 --> 00:03:59,109
She'll play tennis and
wear dresses and have bare feet.

44
00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:02,795
And in the autumn I'll ditch her!
Cos she's my summer girl.

45
00:04:02,880 --> 00:04:04,996
Come on, get up! Go home! Get up!

46
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- (Grumbles sleepily)
- Bye-bye!

47
00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:11,116
(Siren wailing)

48
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(Creaking)

49
00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:23,551
(Creaking)

50
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(Grinding)

51
00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:47,795
- (Crash)
- (Shrieks)

52
00:04:54,280 --> 00:04:57,477
88. What's the big deal?
What happens to you?

53
00:04:57,560 --> 00:04:59,516
- You don't wanna know.
- I do.

54
00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:01,716
- No, you don't.
- Don't do that!

55
00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:04,758
I want to know even more
if you tell me I don't.

56
00:05:04,840 --> 00:05:06,796
Trust me, you don't wanna know.

57
00:05:06,880 --> 00:05:10,031
Well, you don't wanna know
why I want to know.

58
00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:12,315
- Oh? Why's that?
- Ha! See?

59
00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:16,992
- I have a condition.
- What? What's it called?

60
00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:19,196
Dave's syndrome.

61
00:05:19,280 --> 00:05:22,352
You're making this up.
It's like your fudge thing.

62
00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:24,396
You have to eat lots because...

63
00:05:24,480 --> 00:05:26,436
Stops me going deaf.

64
00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:30,229
Yeah, and the other one.
What... You only travel in vans.

65
00:05:30,320 --> 00:05:33,153
No! The other way!
Never let me be put in a van!

66
00:05:33,240 --> 00:05:36,198
It's rubbish! Attention-seeking rubbish.

67
00:05:36,280 --> 00:05:38,316
Hi. Do you have a book...?

68
00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:42,631
Thank you.

69
00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:45,632
Would you like a cool one?
Lovely on a hot day.

70
00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:47,199
Cool books?

71
00:05:47,280 --> 00:05:49,589
Straight from the fridge.

72
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Oh, thank you.

73
00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:56,075
Ohhh...

74
00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:58,355
Ohhhhh.

75
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(Ding)

76
00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:04,876
OK, if I told you that the walls of my flat

77
00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:08,270
were actually moving in,
would you think I was strange?

78
00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:12,592
No, I'd ask you to come round
and look after my small children.

79
00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:16,593
If you don't believe me,
come round and we'll watch the wall.

80
00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:20,912
No, we'll be watching the thermometer.
Won't we, Bernard?

81
00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:24,436
It's an impossible choice -
walls, thermometers...

82
00:06:24,520 --> 00:06:28,877
I'll just have to hope when I flip the coin
it explodes and kills me.

83
00:06:36,640 --> 00:06:40,349
Fran! Hello. How's it going?

84
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Might be a slight rent increase soon.

85
00:06:43,280 --> 00:06:45,236
Price of light bulbs.

86
00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:50,273
What's this - 2B?
There was never a 2B...

87
00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:53,916
This is a new door.

88
00:06:55,520 --> 00:06:59,399
You have moved my bloody wall
and put a room in.

89
00:06:59,480 --> 00:07:02,517
You're funny, Fran! It's a Victorian house.

90
00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:06,070
A lot of them were built
with redouble perspective.

91
00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:09,675
You might think a room's
twice as big or small as it really is.

92
00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:12,069
There was never a flat here.

93
00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:15,789
It's the heat, love...
playing tricks with your mind.

94
00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:18,474
No, don't. That's rude, love.

95
00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:21,312
Hello.

96
00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:24,392
Oh, hi. Are you in 2A?

97
00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:28,075
I'm in 2. There is no 2A.

98
00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:31,072
Oh, come on.
This flat's always been here.

99
00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:34,516
Remember the Bracewells?
And the Guptas?

100
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Little Sanjay with his trumpet practice.

101
00:07:37,360 --> 00:07:40,750
Mr Marchman, I meant to ask you
to fix the peephole.

102
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I can see into the flat from out here
but I can't see out.

103
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- It's weird.
- Soon, love, soon.

104
00:07:48,040 --> 00:07:51,794
Don't listen to him, he's making this up,
this is a new room!

105
00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:55,395
- She's a bit...
- I am not a bit...

106
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Would you like to have a coffee
and talk about this?

107
00:07:58,840 --> 00:08:02,833
Oh, yeah. Coffee that I spilt,
you picked up with tweezers

108
00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:05,229
and now you're gonna serve it to me.

109
00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:09,869
OK, that was mad.
But the rest is true.

110
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- I want my flat back!
- Girls, girls... girls.

111
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You're both such lovely girls.

112
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You'll be sharing sugar in no time.

113
00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:22,509
Don't fight. And if you do,

114
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fight nice with pillows and... jimjams.

115
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The heating's on!

116
00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:54,429
I want to see what happens
to you at 88 degrees.

117
00:08:54,520 --> 00:08:57,592
- Don't do that again.
- You're making this up.

118
00:08:57,680 --> 00:09:01,639
I will have no malingerers in my shop.
Go and fetch my lolly.

119
00:09:19,680 --> 00:09:21,636
It was the landlord.

120
00:09:21,720 --> 00:09:24,917
He moved my wall and put in another flat

121
00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:27,673
and now there is this woman
in my space.

122
00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:30,513
- What's she like?
- Oh, you know the type.

123
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They're all, "Helloooo," and "Hiiii."

124
00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:39,157
She even asked me in for coffee.
A really clever bitch.

125
00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:41,993
I think you should get a lawyer.

126
00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:45,197
Expensive. Get someone
to pretend to be one.

127
00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:48,670
Someone who's like a lawyer -
arrogant, cruel, crooked,

128
00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:51,274
a liar, a real bastard,
that'd sort them out.

129
00:09:55,560 --> 00:09:57,710
- No, I'm not doing it.
- Oh, go on.

130
00:09:57,800 --> 00:10:01,110
When you get a girlfriend,
I'll give you a reference.

131
00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:03,156
I'll lie for you, say you're OK.

132
00:10:04,880 --> 00:10:07,633
All right. Deal.

133
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:11,831
(Buzzing)

134
00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:14,798
(Grinding)

135
00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:20,752
Not so fast.

136
00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:24,549
I represent Fran Katzenjammer
from flat 2, she's my client,

137
00:10:24,640 --> 00:10:27,518
and I'm a hotshot lawyer
like on television.

138
00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:31,354
- So what's the problem exactly?
- My client's room is smaller.

139
00:10:31,440 --> 00:10:33,396
It's illegal to steal space

140
00:10:33,480 --> 00:10:37,029
under the European Act
of Legislation which happens...

141
00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:38,712
in a court.

142
00:10:38,800 --> 00:10:42,588
Her room's the same as always.
I've got the measurements.

143
00:10:42,680 --> 00:10:45,194
- Don't evade the question.
- Eh?

144
00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:48,829
- Just answer the question!
- What question?

145
00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:50,672
Hmm? Oh. Sorry.

146
00:10:50,760 --> 00:10:53,035
Where were you
when the rooms were measured?

147
00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:56,556
- I was...
- Ha, ha, ha! Oh!

148
00:10:56,640 --> 00:10:58,596
So where was the room?

149
00:10:58,680 --> 00:11:01,240
2B's always been there,
you can see for yourself.

150
00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:06,838
Damn right, before I send this building
downtown to the boys in the lab.

151
00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:09,036
I'm sequestering these as evidence.

152
00:11:09,120 --> 00:11:14,353
And I'm issuing you with
a decree of... sub... ju... dae. Subjudae!

153
00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:18,149
You are under a legal subjudae
to stay there until...

154
00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:20,276
Until such time as...

155
00:11:21,440 --> 00:11:23,556
...Simon says, "Stand up".

156
00:11:37,640 --> 00:11:39,596
- Hello?
- All rise. Hello.

157
00:11:39,680 --> 00:11:43,639
I am Bernard Black from
Black Hingley and... Whoohoey Associates.

158
00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:45,676
You're accused of space thievery.

159
00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:47,751
- I've come to measure the room.
- Why?

160
00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:49,796
Don't kid around, sister,

161
00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:53,316
you could spend the next
20 years in the electric chair.

162
00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:55,356
But I've done nothing wrong.

163
00:11:56,760 --> 00:11:58,716
How could you? Look at you.

164
00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:02,031
You're a summer flower.
Here, have a judge's bun.

165
00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:07,670
Thank you. Come in. Look.

166
00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:10,797
I don't understand her next door.

167
00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:13,519
Oh, forget her. She's a mad bitch.

168
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:16,910
But I don't want to have to go to court.

169
00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:18,956
Don't worry, I'll represent you.

170
00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:21,952
Really, I wanted somewhere a bit bigger.

171
00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:23,996
Maybe I'll just move.

172
00:12:24,080 --> 00:12:26,036
Cos in the summer,

173
00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:31,319
I like having a sense
of light and airiness and space.

174
00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:36,634
You know, like something Georgian.

175
00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:46,395
That's incredible.
Since you've been here it seems bigger.

176
00:12:46,480 --> 00:12:48,471
Feng shui is nine-tenths of the law.

177
00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:53,073
- What are you doing?
- I'm literally jumping for joy.

178
00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:56,516
This is gonna be
the best summer yet. I love you.

179
00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:58,591
- It is!
- (Banging)

180
00:12:58,680 --> 00:13:02,912
Bernard, you arsehole!
(Muffled expletives)

181
00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:06,834
Er, I'll call, OK? I've got to go.
Lengthy trial coming up,

182
00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:09,673
I have to get wig extensions. OK? Bye.

183
00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:32,156
You have no idea how easy it is

184
00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:35,118
to get a girlfriend if you're me,
which you're not.

185
00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:38,988
- It's 84 degrees!
- Relax, I got you a present.

186
00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:42,629
The latest thing.
It actually sucks out your body heat

187
00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:46,508
if you fill it with boiling water
and wear it all the time.

188
00:13:46,600 --> 00:13:49,956
- And you will stay with me...
- I'm a boyfriend now,

189
00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:52,759
I've got duties -
sighing and holding hands

190
00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:54,796
and not finishing sentences.

191
00:13:54,880 --> 00:13:58,190
You and the sun will
have to battle it out alone.

192
00:13:58,280 --> 00:14:02,478
Excuse me. I bought this for
someone and they don't want it.

193
00:14:02,560 --> 00:14:06,473
I was wondering if I could change it.
Maybe for the money.

194
00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:16,876
Sand. Manny?

195
00:14:18,560 --> 00:14:20,516
(Munches)

196
00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:22,556
Sardinia, south.

197
00:14:22,640 --> 00:14:26,633
Portoscuso. The little beach
by the old monastery.

198
00:14:26,720 --> 00:14:29,314
- Get out.
- Damn.

199
00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:37,552
You bastard! You nine-sided whore!

200
00:14:39,440 --> 00:14:41,351
I had to, she was gonna leave!

201
00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:44,557
I'm your oldest friend! And I can't sleep!

202
00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:47,234
- It's just for the summer.
- Forget it.

203
00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:50,232
I am going to have
blissful slumber tonight.

204
00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:52,276
Forget your summer bunny.

205
00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:55,477
Fran, he won't help me in the heat.
Can I stay with you?

206
00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:58,120
There's no room!

207
00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:06,311
Yeah, I know.
But there's two different kinds.

208
00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:09,995
There's bad asbestos
and there's nice asbestos.

209
00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:12,036
Anyway, it grows on you.

210
00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:14,475
Yeah, don't worry. Bye!

211
00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:22,596
Hello, Mr Landlord.

212
00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:24,830
I've got a complaint.

213
00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:27,480
- Oh, yeah?
- Yes.

214
00:15:29,640 --> 00:15:31,596
It's my bed.

215
00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:35,036
It's just too damn big for little me.

216
00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:38,430
Your room's too small,
your bed's too big...

217
00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:40,829
Look...

218
00:15:40,920 --> 00:15:42,876
I think we can work it out...

219
00:15:45,520 --> 00:15:47,476
in-in... in the bed.

220
00:15:47,560 --> 00:15:49,710
I don't understand.

221
00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:53,109
It's very simple. Look -

222
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:02,669
You're there, OK, and I'm there.

223
00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:05,877
Or the other way around.
Don't care. Too tired.

224
00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:08,952
Let me get this straight -
you're offering...

225
00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:11,713
you are actually offering...

226
00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:14,155
I am actually offering you me, yes.

227
00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:16,595
Me. Yours. To enjoy.

228
00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:18,989
Like an éclair or...

229
00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:21,036
a day at the zoo.

230
00:16:21,120 --> 00:16:22,917
Eh?

231
00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:26,549
Sex! Sexy... sex!

232
00:16:26,640 --> 00:16:29,552
Oh! Anything for a tenant!

233
00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:32,552
When you put the room back
the way it was.

234
00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:40,956
Should I bring this?

235
00:16:45,720 --> 00:16:47,073
Mmm.

236
00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:55,792
Bernard, this thermal jacket you bought
me isn't working. I feel quite warm.

237
00:16:55,880 --> 00:16:59,350
Trust me, it's what
the astronauts use to keep cool.

238
00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:01,749
- Is space hot?
- Of course it is!

239
00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:05,628
Where else do you think
we get pineapples from?

240
00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:09,030
I hope you're wearing
your Heat-B-Gone booties.

241
00:17:12,120 --> 00:17:15,317
- Where are you going?
- Out. Courtship calls.

242
00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:19,154
I'm getting Alice chocolate,
flowers, chocolate flowers,

243
00:17:19,240 --> 00:17:22,437
florets of chocolate,
it's a truckload of woo.

244
00:17:22,520 --> 00:17:25,990
It's 86 degrees, you can't leave me,
it might hit 88.

245
00:17:26,080 --> 00:17:28,435
I'm scared, Bernard, please don't go.

246
00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:31,876
Oh, you mustn't get to 88 degrees.
Why is that again?

247
00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:35,111
- You don't wanna know.
- You're right, I don't.

248
00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:38,112
Bernard, please!
Bernard, please, please!

249
00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:40,953
Please don't leave me. Please, Bernard.

250
00:17:41,040 --> 00:17:44,237
Please don't leave me. Please!

251
00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:47,710
I'll tell you! I'll tell you
what happens at 88 degrees.

252
00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:50,797
Oh! Oh, thank you.

253
00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:52,836
Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you.

254
00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:55,275
Thank you, Bernard. Oh, bless you.

255
00:17:55,360 --> 00:17:58,909
Thank you, Bernard, thank you.
Oh, thank you, Bernard.

256
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:00,956
- I forgot my wallet.
- What?

257
00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:05,153
Oh... no! Please!

258
00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:07,196
Please!

259
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:13,195
Aaaah.

260
00:18:13,280 --> 00:18:17,319
No, the flat's great. No more trouble
from the mad neighbour.

261
00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:21,439
But the lawyer guy who sorted it out,
he turns out to be a freak.

262
00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:24,353
I can't move for
all the flowers he's sent.

263
00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:26,635
Yes, and fancy presents.

264
00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:29,632
And awful, awful poems.

265
00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:31,915
Listen to this one.

266
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:35,231
"Think of a bee, you are its knees

267
00:18:35,320 --> 00:18:38,153
"You waft through me
like a summer's breeze

268
00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:40,674
"Can I come round Tuesday, please?"

269
00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:42,716
I know. Terrible!

270
00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:44,552
I know.

271
00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:48,156
The wine's nice, though.

272
00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:51,073
(Thunderous grinding)

273
00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:55,675
Just a skirting board bolt.

274
00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:59,878
Won't look like it's moving now.
Not that it ever did, mind.

275
00:18:59,960 --> 00:19:01,916
Great, thanks.

276
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:05,276
This... other problem...

277
00:19:05,360 --> 00:19:09,273
- Sorry?
- The difficulty with the bed.

278
00:19:09,360 --> 00:19:12,796
Oh, no, the bed's fine. I love my bed.

279
00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:14,836
We talked about the bed.

280
00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:17,514
Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no.

281
00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:20,353
You must be thinking
about someone else.

282
00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:24,956
It's been hot today,
and that can play tricks with your mind.

283
00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:26,792
But...

284
00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:28,836
I moved the wall back for you.

285
00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:31,912
Don't be silly. The wall never moved.

286
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:33,956
- You said.
- Yeah...

287
00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:36,793
Call you next time the toilet's blocked.

288
00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:48,309
Er... Brrr! Brrrrr! Cold, cold.

289
00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:50,914
Brrr, brrrr! Cold.

290
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:53,560
Not working!

291
00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:58,030
86! 86 degrees!

292
00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:03,076
Use the power of the mind.
Think of cold things!

293
00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:07,150
Oh, no! A blizzard!

294
00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:11,032
(Arctic wind noises)

295
00:20:11,120 --> 00:20:13,680
I'd like a copy of Tempocalypse, please.

296
00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:16,638
Go! Go away! Icy winds! Dangerous here!

297
00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:18,676
- Go!
- Please, go on.

298
00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:20,716
Oh, all right.

299
00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:26,230
What? Where are the books?

300
00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:35,395
(Low roar)

301
00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:40,034
Oooh. (Puffs)

302
00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:43,239
(Snarling)

303
00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:46,073
(Bell rings)

304
00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:48,469
(Snarling, sniggering)

305
00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:50,039
(Bell ringing)

306
00:20:50,120 --> 00:20:53,510
(Man screaming)

307
00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:03,516
Bye, then!

308
00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:05,352
Piss off!

309
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:10,236
- (Accordion chirps)
- Hello!

310
00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:13,153
Come to serenade you.
I can't play guitar.

311
00:21:13,240 --> 00:21:16,118
I can't play this either
but it might be less obvious.

312
00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:18,156
So if you could look wistful...

313
00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:20,959
- No, thanks. Goodbye.
- Where are you going?

314
00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:22,712
Somewhere else.

315
00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:26,031
I've had enough.
The flat's small, then it's huge,

316
00:21:26,120 --> 00:21:29,271
now it's a closet
full of flowers and truffles.

317
00:21:29,360 --> 00:21:31,954
- I am not interested. OK?
- But-but...

318
00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:35,793
- Get lost!
- No, no!

319
00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:38,155
My summer girlfriend doesn't get angry.

320
00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:41,550
You laugh as we cycle
around the Cotswolds in a taxi.

321
00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:46,111
You flick the cherry off the pie
just like Auntie Nibbs did.

322
00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:48,156
What?

323
00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:52,156
Freak.

324
00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:54,196
Stop!

325
00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:56,874
- Bernard.
- Stop! She's breaking the law!

326
00:21:56,960 --> 00:22:00,555
Forget it. She was never your girlfriend.

327
00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:03,313
It's just the heat playing tricks
with your mind.

328
00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:05,914
There's nothing wrong with my mind!

329
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:08,389
You're wearing an accordion.

330
00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:13,155
(Squawks)

331
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:18,915
(Banging, accordion honking)

332
00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:26,592
Listen, this whole thing,
we're old friends.

333
00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:30,355
Don't you think it's about time
now that we admitted

334
00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:33,512
that we're hugely attracted
to one another?

335
00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:35,556
Just for the summer.

336
00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:39,428
No, I don't. I think we should wait a bit.

337
00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:41,954
Till when? Yeah?

338
00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:43,871
Mmm... when?

339
00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:47,316
Until at least one of us is dead?

340
00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:53,715
- Let's get a drink, then.
- OK. But not at the shop.

341
00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:56,234
I don't want to hear how hot Manny is.

342
00:22:56,320 --> 00:22:59,471
What was the name he made up
for that condition?

343
00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:01,551
I don't know. Some nonsense.

344
00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:05,838
Blake's syndrome,
Blaine's syndrome, some rubbish.

345
00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:08,480
( Eerie music)

346
00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:15,873
(Metallic banging)

347
00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:22,433
Yaaaaah!

348
00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:25,034
(Roars)

349
00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:28,069
Poor bloke.

350
00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:30,916
Dave's syndrome.

351
00:23:36,000 --> 00:24:05,000
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352
00:24:05,050 --> 00:24:09,600
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